I really would like to “just let it go,” if I could only know where it was going!
Yes, I really did have that thought at 3am recently when I was unable to sleep. It was a thought out of nowhere that startled and amused me. Where do those thoughts and emotions go, when you let them go? Is there a big repository out there in the void, an aggregate of unwanted and tortured feelings of every human who tried to just “let it go”? It’s easier sung than done!
If I knew with certainty where those horrible thoughts and feelings actually went, that they had reached some kind of final station, a point of no return, riding off into the sunset on a one way ticket, wouldn’t it be easier, more imaginative and more fun, to deal with negative energy? How do you really know if you have let it go? What does closure feel like?
I felt obligated to answer myself…
Only a control freak would care about being in control of something that she had to let go.
Why should I care where it goes, as long as it goes? Letting go is not like mailing a letter that has a specific address, that you let go of, knowing where it is going to; of course, if you make a mistake on your address, it could come back to you, marked “return to sender”. I sure hope it’s not like recycling, where I would dispose of a negative thought only to have it show up again, repurposed for another situation!
I’ve never been a fan of the old “write your feelings down and put them in a letter, stamp it, but don’t mail it.” Do you understand my position?
Things have to go somewhere….everything has a place. Energy can never be destroyed. Thoughts are energy. Now- here sits that letter, forever unopened, going nowhere. I do care where “it” goes, and I want to guarantee that it won’t come back. (What if I burned the letter? Drowned it in a bowl of water? Buried it in the ground?) There is an ancient folktale from China that relates a story of a young man who whispers a shameful secret into a hole in the ground at night and buries it. Many years later, a tree grows from that hole and when the tree’s branches are made into flutes, the flutes themselves announce that secret aloud, for all to hear.
I think (because I can’t help myself) that the only way I’m going to save me from myself is if I can stop thinking.
One of my favorite songs is “Across the Universe”, by John Lennon- some of the lyrics that come to my mind when my head is too full of words, complex speculations and self doubt:
“Words are flowing out like endlesss rain into a paper cup, they slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box, they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe-”
Come on, now! What if I forget about closure and think about expansion? Just let all those unwanted energies disintegrate as they make their way across the universe and beyond.
“Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns and calls me on and on across the universe. Jai guru deva om- Nothing’s gonna change my world”
Create the world you want to live in. Be careful of the thoughts you think. Be love, and Let the Light Find You! Xoxoxox Annie
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